(1) We have the right to use teasing, mockery, intimidation, and name-calling against you at any time. We consider these to be valid and effective techniques for everyday communication and instruction. We regard the role of a parent and the way in which a parent should speak to a child as being similar in nature to that of a high-school sports-coach.

(2) You must at all times be a tough person. You are not allowed to cry, whine, complain, beg for mercy, cower in fear, or engage in related actions. If such actions are committed, we will respond by physically beating you and issuing death-threats against you. In general, displays of fear or weakness must be met with harsher, not gentler treatment. If we did otherwise, then we would be rewarding you for your fear or weakness.

(3) You must be in a state of physical fitness. You must devote a substantial amount of your time to playing various sports. You must go on several hiking or camping trips every year.

(4) Do not be "weird." Do not be a Nerd. Do not do anything which causes others to regard you as "weird" or "eccentric." You must be able to distinguish between sarcastic and normal remarks, and between rhetorical and normal questions. You must have a normal sense of humor. You must not hold opinions which come across as narrow-minded or excessively old-fashioned. You must be adept at "nonverbal communication."